And Even Then – November 15 2019

And Even Then – November 15 2019


And if, say, one day

you reach the summit of the holy mount

and are there shattered utterly by light,

even then,

you must go on

not like a saint spiraling upward,

delicate feet barely tracing

invisible arcs of air,

but back once more

at the granite foot,

the rubbled start of it all

where you join again the struggling band,

pilgrims climbing together

on hands and rock-torn knees.

Dorothy Walters, from Some Kiss We Want:


Much of what drives us as humans is the need for safety and comfort, the animal needs of every embodied creature. We seek contact with spirit out of the longing each of us feels deep within, but some part of us believes also that as soon as I become spiritual enough, enlightened enough, far enough along, I will find a new comfort, a true feeling of being at home in the world; and no more struggle. I’ll be able to just sit here and watch the rest of humanity slogging through all the challenges of the world and thank all that is holy that I no longer have to do that.

Of course this isn’t the case at all.

As long as we are in a body we will be at the mercy of its demands the demands of the ego. As long as we are on the planet we will be evolving. This is what life does. Life may become more rich and full as we continue to grow, but we will continue to feel it and all of its joys and sorrows. We may become more comfortable in our discomfort, but the discomfort will continue to be a given.

The difference will be that instead of seeing ourselves as humans struggling to have a spiritual connection, we will know ourselves more and more as spirit having a human experience.

As spirit, all of this makes sense. All of these challenges and discomforts of a life are opportunities to know the truth, opportunities to love rather than to separate, opportunities to offer of ourselves to the world and our fellows rather than fight for ‘mine.’

It’s all an adventure. And the end of the story is the same for all of us, in this infinite universe: at the end of it all – through all the dark and the light of it – she knew herself as spirit absolutely and she was content.

Today I will remind myself that no matter how I may feel in the moments of this day, no matter how frightened or irritated or uncomfortable I may be, that simply to remember I am spirit growing into myself as spirit makes it a good day.

Lotuses, Echo Park Lake, Los Angeles