Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
A Course in Miracles
When we find it difficult to love, it is always because we are identified as the ego, rather than as spirit. We have forgot that we are spirit having a human experience and fallen into the misconception that we are humans having the occasional spiritual experience. From this identity, the thought of loving brings up the fear that we may lose something. Yet what is there to lose?
The truth of the universe is its Oneness. The truth of me is my Oneness with. As the Oneness, there is nothing I can lose.
When I am identified as this one thing, love is free, present, effortless. It is my nature. Identified as this one thing, I am an out-flowing of love. There is nothing I “need” from outside myself, for truly, there is nothing outside myself. Everything is mine to give. Love is mine to give. And because I am full, giving is all that I can do. I must pour myself out into the space around me. Pouring myself into myself.
I am identified as individuality. As ego. Ego wants. Ego is empty. Ego needs. Ego is trying to avoid death. It’s own death. Ego will take and take and take, trying to fill a void that cannot be filled. As ego, when you have, it means there is less for me. And to give to you is unthinkable, because I am empty. I have nothing to give. And the little I do have I must hoard.
How do we find our way from one to the other?
By loving. By giving love. By going against all of the screaming voices in our heads and in our lives that say “Don’t be a fool! Where’s mine? Why does it always have to be me that gives? How dare he/she ask me for more! I’m tired of giving! It’s time someone gave to me!”
We hear these voices, we thank them for sharing, and we love anyway. In spite of ourselves. And by choosing to love anyway, we deny the ego’s lie of our emptiness, and we lay claim to the fullness that we are. And we love.
Today I will make a point to give what I want to receive. Instead of looking for love, I will look for where I can give love.