In spite of ourselves
We’ll end up a’sittin’ on a rainbow
Against all odds
Honey, we’re the big door prize
We’re gonna spite our noses
Right off of our faces
There won’t be nothin’ but big old
Dancin’ in our eyes.
John Prine, In Spite of Ourselves
What makes it so difficult to love?
It must be because we fear that we will lose something by being loving. Yet what is there to lose?
The truth of the universe is its oneness. The truth of me is my oneness with. As the oneness, there is nothing I can lose.
When I am identified as this one thing, love is free, present, effortless. It is my nature. Identified as this one thing, I am an outflowing of love. There is nothing I “need” from outside myself, for truly, there is nothing outside myself. Everything is mine to give. Love is mine to give. And because I am full, giving is all that I can do. I must pour myself out into the space around me. Into myself.
I am identified as individuality. As ego. Ego wants. Ego is empty. Ego needs. Ego is trying to avoid death. It’s own death. Ego will take and take and take, trying to fill a void that cannot be filled. As ego, when you have, it means there is less for me. And to give to you is unthinkable, because I am empty. I have nothing to give. And the little I do have I must hoard.
How do we find our way from one to the other?
By loving. By giving love. By going against all of the screaming voices in our heads and in our lives that say “Don’t be a fool! Where’s mine? Why does it always have to be me who gives? How dare he/she ask me for more! I’m tired of giving! It’s time someone gave to me!”
We hear these voices, we thank them for sharing, and we love anyway. In spite of ourselves.
Today I will make a point to give what I want to receive. Instead of looking for love, I will look for where I can give love.
JOHN PRINE, b. October 10, 1946 – d. April 7, 2020
REST IN PEACE