Silence is the Truth of You – February 12 2020

2% of mind is thought. 98% is the truth of you: silence.

David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D

Years ago my mind was beset with thought. Always. As if I were at the center of a maelstrom of voices, none of them pleasant, or even remotely loving and kind; all of them speaking in one way or another of my unworthiness to be alive, and the whole of them becoming louder and louder and louder. No matter what I did I couldn’t find comfort. I could find some respite by running six to eight miles a day, smoking three and a half packs of cigarettes a day. (At times I was both running and smoking, though in sequence. I never actually smoked while I ran.) Eventually my lungs started to give out, so I had to quit smoking. My knees and back couldn’t take any more running, so I had to quit that. What I really wanted was to be able to detach my head – just take it off. That sounded like heaven to me: to be free of these thoughts, these voices of shame and blame, for just a moment here and there.

Though I had been practicing a meditation daily for some time, it helped only a bit. And sitting and observing my thoughts, which was the practice I was doing for about an hour each day, was pretty much just like being me, except with my eyes closed.

Then I learned to meditate in this tradition from the Veda. I immediately had the miracle experience of transcending thought. Going beyond it all, in my very first meditation. It was heaven. I was able to have an actual experience of consciousness that was other than the thoughts. I had my first taste of that 98% Dr. Hawkins speaks of, rather than that 2% I had spent years at the mercy of. I think I may have wept in relief.

18 years later there still can be irrelevant thoughts passing through my mind, but I almost never identify with those thoughts. More and more there is the experience of silence within. As we experience the silence we can begin to identify as the silence, rather than the noise, regardless of how devious and convincing the noisy thoughts might seem.

And as we listen to the silence, we are able to hear the music of life ringing through us. Our inner guidance system that has been patiently awaiting our attention. 

We find that the inner guide wants only what’s best for us; wants only to show us where we are needed, wanted, where we are meant to be.

It’s a beautiful life.

Today when I find myself caught up with the inner voice of worry and negativity, I will let myself settle into the silence within, and I will choose to put my attention on the music within the silence – the sighing of my breath, the sound of traffic outside my window, of the wind through the trees, of life being lived, in the city or the country, wherever I may find myself – and I will follow its guidance for my next right action, rather than trying to ‘figure it out.’

Bud Powell, under the jacaranda tree, Studio City CA

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