That’s what I consider true generosity. You give your all, and yet you always feel as if it costs you nothing.
Simone De Beauvoir
What is the best way to deal with those who have an emotionally draining effect on you? Some people have a very energizing effect on me while others seem to just wipe me out totally.
A question from a meditator
Consciousness is only one thing. I am that consciousness, as are you. What each of us brings to that one thing affects that one thing. And when we are in each other’s event horizon, the effect can be profound.
There are those in the world who, constrained to a narrow vision of what the world is about, find themselves so in need of attention, of energy, that it becomes to them a matter of life or death that they get whatever they can take. Our time spent with these people might leaves us feeling used, even used up. These people aren’t bad. They are simply misguided. We call them ‘energy bandits,’ for they will take while giving nothing in return, not even gratitude.
If we find ourselves, time after time, spent, exhausted, tired after having given to another, what can we do?
The short answer is: don’t let them do that. It’s not my job to feed others from my energy. Yes, there are those — friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances — whom we have to be around, whom we can’t avoid, whom perhaps we don’t want to avoid. Still, we don’t want to keep being used up. What we can do is: rather than simply to give, we can radiate.
Radiation is from God, from that infinite source within that never can be depleted. We can fill a room with light, if we choose to. With the light of consciousness. And when we do so, we are freely giving from that place that is beyond individuality. Not only will this keep others from feeding off our energy, but it actually will energize us as we are doing it.
To radiate is to love. Love is that thing that is multiplied within us when we choose to give it to the world. When we choose to love, then we actually are being blessed by the energy bandit who comes to us in need of attention. In the challenge they set for us, they have shown us the way to growth.
Today I will notice some one who seems to be in need, and I will give of the light that is within me. I will smile and radiate. I will be the being of light that I know myself to be.
Cowgirls, Independence Day Parade, Red Lodge, Montana
All original material copyright © 2018 Jeff Kober