Not Finished with Living – November 29 2018

Not Finished with Living – November 29 2018

I am now face to face with dying,
but I am not finished with living.
Oliver Sacks, Gratitude
 
I once sat across a table from a conversation between a former nun and her friend. They both were in their 70s. The nun was referencing a mutual acquaintance, saying, “She just faded out. I want to be ‘live, live, live, die!'”
 
Me, too.
 
There is so much angst in the world today. So much anger and confusion and judgment. So little that is certain. And the feeling, often, of no security, no safety. Sometimes no hope. All these dark feelings-in ourselves and in those around us-cause our mind to tell us stories by way of explanation. And the stories, to one degree or another, posit a world that is not worth living in, or a self not worthy of life.
 
This is not the way of life, not the way of nature. Nature does not speak to itself like this. Nature encourages itself to grow, to change, to expand, to evolve. 
 
Ego, however, does speak to itself like this. Ego can be mean, and it doesn’t seem to care if it’s being mean to self or others. It’s just mean.
 
We can choose, always, to listen to the one or the other. The voice of ego, or the voice of life. The voice of ‘die’ or the voice of ‘love.’ 
 
If there is breath in the body, there is still work to be accomplished here on Planet Earth. There is still a reason to be here. There is still the capacity to love.
 
Today I will choose to listen for the voice of God, rather than to the nattering of the ego. I will look for reasons to love those around me, and myself, rather than listen to all the reasons the ego may give me for not.
 
Old Truck, the Linger Farm, near Molt, Montana